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Showing posts with label Teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teaching. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Crazy Stories: The girl with the cat


Today's post is just a short little story.
Its purpose is to make you smile.
To put life into perspective so to speak.

It is also a true story.

And takes place in one of my third grade classes...

As I've mentioned before, I am an English teacher in a Korean middle school.
My third graders are at a point in their lives where Korean dreams are made or destroyed.
Their next step is to gain access to a prestigious high school 
in order to be accepted into a good university. 
Getting into a good university is the way you get a good job in Korea.  
It may sound incredulous, but these third graders are worked to the bone
 in the hope of achieving their dreams.
They are also only 15 years old.

This youtube video is a perfect example of what I'm trying to explain.




This is the case in most Korean schools.

However, in my school, my students have not gotten this memo.

My third graders have somehow bypassed crazy busy 
and landed right in the middle of crazy.

Last week, while teaching one of my last third grade classes of the day, one of my girls asked me "Teacher! You like cat?"
Because this is the inexplicable world of third grade I made no mention that this question
had nothing to do with my class 
(we were discussing artwork and artists in case you were wondering).
I was just happy she was speaking English.
I answered with, "Did you ask me if I liked cats?"
She nods.
I respond "Yes, I like cats. I really like all animals."
(Look at us having a conversation!)

She says, "Look! I have cat!"
(In a normal world or another school, you would expect a picture of a cat 
- maybe on a book?)
Nope.
She moves back and points at a bump inside her shirt.
And I burst out laughing.
I say, "Why would you have a toy cat inside your school shirt?"
Silly children.

Then this experience becomes a leeetle strange.

Slowly, she starts unbuttoning her school shirt.
My immediate reaction, "No!!!!!!"
She smiles knowingly, "It's OK Teacher I have two clothes"

Um OK? Wait, what?

And then... I see the toy cat she was hiding inside her shirt.

Except. 

It is definitely not a toy.
It is a real cat. 
A living and breathing kitten which is living inside her school shirt.

Now, I'm pretty sure that they do not cover this in the 
two week orientation they gave me before I started teaching.

So all I could come up with was 
(after the small scream I may have let out) 
"WHY? HOW? HUH?"

Everyone thinks this is hilarious by the way.

And then an equally disturbing and compelling question enters my befuddled brain.
"But, cat, toilet? where toilet?"

I mean, it's a kitten, it needs to use the bathroom.
It has most certainly not been potty trained.

And again she smiles, that all-knowing third grade smile,
and says

"Teacher, I am toilet"






Thursday, 16 May 2013

Quotes from my kids


My students are a bit crazy in the head.



But I love them with all my heart,
because they are so very weird, special, loving and bad at English.

Students all dressed up for sports day - dancing Gangnam Style

When I first came to Korea, I wasn't quite prepared for the attention
my foreignness and appearance would garner. 
At first, it's a bit overwhelming, and the comments I got from students,
fellow teachers and strangers were a bit confusing... 
Now I understand the commentary and stares a lot better and I'm kind of used to it.
(except in Seoul - in Seoul no one cares what you look like or that you're a foreigner).

I had some interesting reactions to my nose, my eyes and my hair.

Student B: Teacher, nose good.
Me: Why??
Student B: Teacher nose high.
Me: Really?
Student B: Yes! Teacher nose plastic surgery?
Me: NO!
Student B: Oh wow. Teacher very good.

In Korea, having a "high" nose is a sign of beauty and as a result, loads of Koreans get their noses altered to make it appear "higher."
Luckily, I was born this way.

Student C: Teacher, eyes so big.
Me: OK
Student C: Like big bug eye!
Me: Um,OK...
Student C: Teacher big eyes wow!
Me: errrr....
Student C: Teacher beautiful...
Me: Um, but teacher big bug eyes???
Student C: Yes. Teacher pretty bug eyes.

Although I was unaware of the importance of having big eyes before landing in Korea,
now I know that most Korean women (and men) want bigger eyes
- with a double eyelid of course.



My students love to ask some weird questions about English words -

Student A: Teachaaa!
Me: Yes?
Student A: You know hamburger?
Me: Yes...
Student A: In hamburger, there is ham or meat?
Me: Er, meat I guess...
Student A: Noooooooo!
Me: Why??
Student A: HAM-burger! Hamburger is ham! HAM -burger!
Me: Haha oh... um, no... Hamburger is meat.
Student A: Why hamburger??? Why no meat-burger when hamburger is meat!

It's one of life's great conundrums my friend.

Korea is very different to my home back in South Africa.
But I really do love all the weird and wonderful its thrown at me thus far...




Sunday, 12 May 2013

Letters from my Korean students...


My little ones love writing me little letters...

Sometimes they're in Korean and sometimes they're in really bad English.
Either way it's one of the best things about being a teacher in Korea.

My students are definitely not the best at English but they win every time at cuteness.

Here are some of these very special letters :)

The best part of this letter?
"I draw mistake"

She loves me <3


"Teacher have boyfriend?"
And then it gets weird...I'm not sure what "So man is Liane come in" means...
I'm not going to think about that one.

This is my customized key chain.
A first grader made it for me for my birthday ^^


Write a letter to someone you love. Especially if they are far away.
I love me some letters ^^


Sunday, 28 April 2013

Let's take the kiddies to Wolmido


On Thursday, my school organised a special treat for the students... 
First graders (twelve and thirteen) were to visit Wolmido. Second graders and third graders were each scheduled to watch a Korean musical in Seoul.

I teach all grades, so I was allowed to choose which field trip I’d want to join. (My thought pattern was a little like this: Korean musical = no understand, Wolmido = fun in the sun). So I chose Wolmido. My expectation for the day included dreams of a beautiful island of sunshine, theme park fun and cute kiddies. But life always has this uncanny way of doing the exact opposite of what you envision.

-       No sunshine, only rain
-       No cute kiddies, only rain soaked, upset tantrum-throwers
-       No theme park fun, only a very boring museum tour

Encountered with pouring rain and the inability to ride anything in the theme park, my Korean teachers decided that we’d instead take the students to a museum on the island. From this experience, I learnt an important life lesson… It goes a little like this: 

NEVER EVER take 400 teenagers who think they’re going to a theme park to a museum.
NEVER DO THIS. Do not do it people. It was cray cray town. 

Running, shouting and illegal eating were what the good kids were going. At one point I had to coax a child off some ancient Korean sculpture. No jokes. Even I can read “do not touch this” in Korean – apparently these thirteen year olds can’t. The worst was the poor museum lady… She was so out of her depth. Later on she just stood in the corner and spoke quietly to herself… I wanted to go over and ask if she needed a hug.

After the museum craziness, we were blessed with a little sunshine and the children could finally go on a few rides. This experience was almost (but not quite) as disturbing as the museum. I don’t know what they were thinking, but I’m pretty sure theme park rides need more adequate safety measures. Most of the rides operated on a similar principle: “You see this bar? OK, hold on and don’t let go. Let go, you die.”  
 


I may be overreacting just a tad… And the little ones had hoards of fun being thrown about- so much so that they refused to leave for home at the end of the day. I stood by and silently prayed no one would die (and then that everyone would just go home).  

All in all, it was a fun and exhausting day which made for some great memories. Terry Pratchett had it right when he wrote, 

“Chaos is found in greatest abundance whenever order is being sought. 
It always defeats order, because it is better organized” 
(Interesting Times, Terry Pratchett).  

;) I love Terry Pratchett. 









Friday, 26 April 2013

Some days all you can do is laugh

I teach at a Middle School in South Korea and some days I feel like I'm the only sane person around...

Kind of a little like this


On my first day, my co-teacher tried to tell me what our school would be like:

Me: So tell me about the school? Do you like working there?
 (big smile of optimism and dreams)

Co-teacher: No, it is like circus.

Me: Hahaha really?

Co-teacher: (straight face) On bad days, more like prison.

After a year at my school, sometimes I understand what she meant lol. But most days I am very happy.

Today was one of those happier, roll on the floor laughing because Bill Cosby had it right, kids do say the darnedest things. 

Here are some of the gems that I picked up in class... Hope they make you smile because I thought they were HILARIOUS (and slightly disturbing)

Me: Why do we go to the bus stop?
Student 1: To take a bus!
Me: Very good! One point!
Student 2: Teacher! Teacher! For WiFi!
Me: Wow, welcome to the twenty first century.
Student 3: To smoke (wide smile of fake thirteen year old innocence) 
Me: WHAT???

Me: Why do we go to the hospital?
Student 1: To see a doctor!
Me: Very good! One point!
Student 2: To get face cut!
Me: huh?
Student 2: Teeeeechaaaa surgery surgery surgery!
Me: um...
Student 2: Now, ugly. After, beautiful
Me: Oh plastic surgery
Student 2: point??

Me: Why do we go to Paris?
Student 1: To see the Eiffel Tower!
Me: Good! One point!
Student 2: To eat bread!
Me: um... maybe a French baguette?
Student 2: Yes teacher! same!
Me: Ok, point...
Student 3: For the babies!
Me: huh?
Student 3: baby!baby!baby! 
Me: um...
Student 3: (makes disturbing hand motions) Make the babeeeee! Baby !
Me: err.....
Student 3: Baby-MOON!!!!!
Me: Honeymoon?
Student 3: Yes teeechaaa ! same same.

My students range from twelve to fifteen - they are a weird and wonderful mixture of innocence, hormones, gangsters, and energy. Love it. 



Thursday, 25 April 2013

Teaching in Korea so far~~

Kids don't remember what you try to teach them,

They remember who you are

- Jim Henson


Some days are wonderful and some are not as great 
but every day a student will either: 

- smile for no reason
- say something inappropriate
- run into a wall
- ask to touch my hair
- say "I love you teacher" and run away

 and somehow it makes it all worth it ^^